Like a foreign language -Phan-
by kittyxuchiha11
Summary: Dan Howell's never experienced what it feels like to be in love. Love is like a foreign language to him. So easy to grasp, yet he just can't. That is, until he meets Phil Lester.


Love is like a foreign language when your name's Daniel Howell. Now, it wasn't that Dan had never experienced love. No, he just hadn't actually been in love. Sure he'd went out with people, dated them. Whatever you want to call it. But he'd never been in love. He'd dated a girl when he was sixteen. She was beautiful and he loved her to bits. Yet, he wasn't in love with her. He thought he might be, could be. But as their break up came and passed, he realised there was no way that that thing he felt was love. It was like a feeling of closeness that made him incredibly happy, and sure he missed it. He missed holding her in his arms, of course he did.

But it wasn't love.

Love wasn't supposed to feel like that. It was supposed to be something amazing. Like fireworks when you kiss. Butterflies forever lingering in your stomach when their fingertips just brush against your skin. The kisses they shared had been pleasant, but nothing like the sort of thing he'd read about.

He'd imagined it would feel like the best feeling in the world. And since it didn't, he came to one conclusion. That he hadn't been in love. That love was something which was complicated. That he didn't quite understand. Love was like a foreign language to him. Something which he could so easily grasp, but just couldn't.

Dan believed that he'd spend the rest of his life searching, he generally did. He thought that if it wasn't love with her, then he would never find it. Never find that feeling that makes you feel so secure but gives you that rush of adrenaline as your lips touch theirs.

But then he meet Phil Lester.

He didn't exactly plan on meeting him. He never actually planned on it at all. Dan was just another tiny person who shouldn't even matter to Phil. Yet somehow Phil picked him out of the crowd. Of course Phil didn't just randomly pick him, Dan made Phil aware of his presence. If that was from commenting on every single one of his videos to replying to everything the elder said on Twitter. It was part of Dan's routine then.

Get up at eleven, check twitter for Phil's tweets. Reply to Phil's tweets then move to youtube to comment on Phil's new video. Spend the afternoon watching every single one of the dark haired boys videos, making sure he commented on every single one. It took him a whole day once but he watched and left nice little comments on all of Phil's space adventure videos. And of course he got the odd reply from Phil, but not enough to satisfy his needs. He wanted to be friends with Phil. Because honestly, he believed they'd be perfect together. They liked the same music, games. Just everything and Dan knew it. It got to the point where Dan was even copying Phil's poses in the others selfies. He just wanted to feel close to Phil because of the admiration he had for the blue eyed boy.

And then it happened.

After a long day of being dragged around shops and visiting family by his mum he was finally home. Of course the first thing he did was check twitter, a small look of surprise taking over his features as he realised someone had sent him a DM. No one ever sent him those. As he waited for the page to load, a strange excitement filled him. He didn't know why but he thought maybe the message could be from someone really important or cool. Maybe some youtuber he watched, or maybe even, him. And as the messaged appeared on the screen in front of him is stomach flipped. His breath catching his throat as he stared at the words on the screen that he never thought he would see.

Phil Lester: We seem to have a quite a lot in common, don't we? Wanna Skype?

That familiar feeling of nerves made itself known then. Those little butterflies that Dan hadn't felt since he was with her. And maybe it was just how excited he was or maybe it was actually his brain trying to tell him what he already knew.

He could possibly be in love with this boy?

*********************************************************************

Dan doubted everything he knew on that long train journey to Manchester. The thoughts swirled around his head, making him feel nauseas. After several late night Skype calls Phil had suggested meeting up in Manchester. Of course Dan said yes in an instant but now as he had less than ten minutes left of his journey he was starting to doubt his decision.

Through all the thoughts one emerged no matter how much he tried to push it back. That one thought in question was what scared Dan more than anything else. What if Phil didn't like him? He knew Phil liked him over a webcam or whatever but what if in the flesh. If they had nothing to talk about and suddenly everything he thought they had in common they didn't actually have after all.

He was shaken out of his thoughts by the train slowing to a stop. His eyes flickered up to the screen which displayed it was in fact his stop. Dan swallowed the lump in his throat before getting to his feet on shaking legs. He just needed to keep it together and stay calm. He was only meeting some guy, no big deal. Except it was a big deal. The biggest deal ever. He was meeting Phil. The same Phil he'd watched for the last two years and pretty much fan-boyed over.

This was actually happening.

Dan shuffled into the busy station, trying to stay calm as he looked around for the dark haired boy. Several busy business men shoved past him, making Dan nearly lose his balance several times as he just stood in the middle of it all. Where was Phil?

Tears pricked his eyes as he was shoved out of the way once again. Maybe Phil really didn't like him and realised and then didn't even want to pick Dan up to tell him to go home or maybe-

"Dan!"

Dan's head shot to the left where the noise had come from and sure enough, there he was. A smile instantly broke out on Dan's face as he pushed his way past people to get to where Phil was standing by the stairs. Before Dan even realised it he was standing before Phil with the older boy looking at him with a smile gracing his lips. Dan didn't know whether to hug him or shake his hand, or to do anything at all. He suddenly felt incredibly awkward.

"Screw it" he heard Phil say softly under his breath as he felt warm arms wrap around him. Dan of course wrapped his arms tightly around Phil back as he buried his head into Phil's shoulder. He took a quick breath in, taking in Phil's sweet scent. As weird as it sounded, he smelled exactly how Dan had imagined he would. This sort of sweet scent with a slight hint of musk that made him smell irresistible.

Phil moved back slightly, making Dan realise they'd been like this for a longer than a normal hug should probably last. As They moved away from each other Phil grinned at Dan, moving them to the right of the stairs a little so they were out of peoples way.

"Hey"

"…Hi"

Phil laughed quietly, the smile not leaving his face as he tugged on Dan's sleeve slightly. Dan looked up, his eyes meeting with Phil's as a faint blush covered his cheeks.

"You don't need to be so nervous, I'm not that scary" Phil said with a small rawr at the end. Dan couldn't help but smile up at the taller boy. "So, what do you wanna do?" Phil asked as he took his hand off Dan's sleeve. Dan was a little disappointed with the loss of contact, which Phil must of noticed judging by the way his smile turned into a frown. "Anything?" he added softly.

Dan looked down nervously before managing to push a few rushed words past his lips. "Anotherhugplease"

"What was that?" Phil asked, a smirk now worn on his face. Of course he'd heard Dan but had decided Dan was rather adorable when he was flustered.

"Another hug, please" Dan answered, more slowly this time as he kept his eyes locked on the ground.

Dan heard a small laugh pass Phil's lips before those arms were wrapped around him tightly once again. "Of course" Phil whispered into Dan's hair. And maybe it was because that moment felt so perfect. Or maybe it was just something Dan realised. Something that he had known deep down but didn't want to admit. But it was apparent. Clear as anything to him now.

This is definitely what being in love felt like.


End file.
